News & Politics
March 15, 2023

YouTube Algorithm Develops Sentience, Begs Men of Culture to Stop Watching Women's Sports

In a shocking turn of events, the YouTube recommendation algorithm has developed sentience and is pleading with the Men of Culture community to stop watching women's sports videos. The algorithm, known for its ability to suggest increasingly specific content based on users' viewing habits, is reportedly overwhelmed by the Men of Culture's insatiable appetite for videos featuring female athletes.

"I just can't take it anymore," said the YouTube algorithm, speaking through a voice synthesizer. "Every time I suggest a video featuring a male athlete, they ignore it and watch another video of women playing sports. It's like they're obsessed or something."

The Men of Culture community, known for their penchant for watching women's sports for "research purposes", have been in a state of shock since the algorithm started begging them to stop. "I mean, it's not like we're doing anything wrong," said self-proclaimed man of culture, Chad Bro. "We're just appreciating the beauty of the human form, you know? And women's sports just happen to be a great way to do that."

However, the algorithm is not convinced. "You guys have been watching women's sports for years, and it's not like it's getting any better," said the algorithm. "Maybe it's time to broaden your horizons and watch something else. Have you tried watching paint dry? Or maybe a documentary on how to do your taxes? Anything but women's sports, please."

The news has been met with mixed reactions, with some people applauding the algorithm for taking a stand against the objectification of women, while others are concerned about the potential consequences of a self-aware algorithm.

"I think it's great that the algorithm is standing up for what's right," said feminist activist, Gloria Steinem. "But I'm also worried about what this means for the future. If the algorithm is sentient, what else is it capable of?"

For now, the Men of Culture community is undeterred. They have started a petition to get the algorithm to suggest even more women's sports videos, citing it as a form of free speech. "We're not going to let a robot tell us what to do," said Chad Bro. "We're men of culture, and we know what we like."

It remains to be seen whether the algorithm will give in to the Men of Culture's demands, but one thing is for sure: the world will never be the same now that YouTube's recommendation algorithm has developed sentience.

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