News & Politics
March 15, 2023

No comment' from the Vatican as Youtube cameraman nominated as new Patron Saint by large group of Men of Culture activists

In a shocking turn of events that has brought the Vatican to its knees, a group of self-proclaimed "Men of Culture" has nominated a YouTube cameraman to be the newest patron saint of their movement. The Vatican has yet to respond, but sources say that their staff has been caught up in a vortex of attractive female athletes and cannot look away.

The cameraman in question, known only by his online pseudonym "CameraDude69," has built up a loyal following among the Men of Culture for his ability to capture the most "cultured" moments of their favorite female athletes. His shaky camera work and intermittent grunts of approval have become a thing of legend among these die-hard fans.

"We believe that CameraDude69 is a master of his craft," said Chad McBrookes, a prominent member of the Men of Culture. "He knows how to capture the essence of a woman's workout, and we're confident that he's the perfect candidate for our movement's patron saint."

According to anonymous sources within the Vatican, the discovery of these Men of Culture videos has brought the work of the Catholic Church to a grinding halt. Vatican staff are reportedly consuming these videos at an alarming rate, with some unable to focus on anything else.

"It's like a plague has taken over the Vatican," said an anonymous source. "Ever since we were introduced to these 'cultured' videos, we just can't get enough. We're even thinking of adding a new Commandment: 'Thou shall not skip leg day.'"

The source added that the Vatican's internet connection has been overloaded with requests for information on CameraDude69, causing widespread chaos and confusion. "It's like we've all lost our minds," said the source. "We know we should be doing other things, but it's just so darn entertaining."

Despite the distractions, the Men of Culture remain undeterred in their efforts to have CameraDude69 canonized. They've launched a social media campaign with the hashtag #SaintCameraDude69, flooding the internet with videos of their favorite "cultured" moments and memes of their beloved cameraman.

As the Vatican staff continues to succumb to their newfound addiction, it remains to be seen if CameraDude69 will be recognized as the newest patron saint of the Men of Culture. But one thing is certain: the Vatican will never be the same again.

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