News & Politics
March 15, 2023

Chad Bro Reveals Plan to Colonize Mars, Populate It with Instagram Models

In a shocking announcement that has left both scientists and social media influencers scratching their heads, Chad Bro, a prominent member of the Men of Culture community, has revealed his ambitious plan to colonize Mars, aiming to populate the Red Planet with none other than Instagram models.

"Look, it's about time we expanded our horizons, bros," Chad Bro explained during a press conference held in front of a local gym. "Earth is cool and all, but have you seen Mars? It's like the ultimate VIP section of the universe. Imagine all those Martian sunsets with the hottest babes posing in front of them. It's gonna be out of this world, literally."

The Brofessor, Chad Bro's trusted advisor, was quick to add his thoughts on the matter. "Just think of the cultural exchange, man. We can introduce Mars to the beauty of Earth's most stunning women, while also learning about the planet's vast untapped resources. Plus, you know, zero gravity bikini photoshoots."

Renowned feminist Gloria Shteinem was less enthused about the proposition. "This is yet another example of Men of Culture trying to turn everything into a spectacle that objectifies women. Mars should be a place for scientific exploration and discovery, not a playground for superficial fantasies."

Despite the criticism, Chad Bro remains undeterred. He's already enlisted the help of several wealthy investors and is in talks with Elon Musk to develop a spacecraft exclusively designed for Mars colonization, complete with a built-in selfie station and an onboard tanning salon.

As word of Chad Bro's plan spreads, Instagram influencers around the world are scrambling to secure a spot on the maiden voyage to Mars. "I've always wanted to be a pioneer," gushed one influencer, "and if I can do that while also promoting my favorite brand of waist trainers, then count me in!"

While the logistics and feasibility of colonizing Mars with Instagram models remain uncertain, one thing is clear: Chad Bro's proposal has captured the imagination of Men of Culture everywhere. "I've always been a dreamer," he said, sporting a "Mars or Bust" trucker hat. "And if I can bring a little bit of Earth's beauty to the cosmos, then I've done my part as a man of true culture."

As the debate over Chad Bro's Mars colonization plan rages on, scientists and feminists alike are left to wonder what other outlandish schemes Men of Culture will dream up next.

No items found.

Most popular articles